Ntombiyosizi Bhebhe is resting now.
Bhebhe,Mhlongo
Njomane kamgabhi,
Tumbale,makhedama
Tshulutshanaba
Soyengwase
Dlomo ka Mdlende
Nina boBhebhe kaMthendeka.
Maziwa yinkosi abanye bengaziwa. NaTshaka kaSenzangakhona.
Umazalinkosikazi.
Wena owachapha ulimpompo ngehlamvu lepopo!
Nzinda
Mz’imkhulu
Mthekele
Wen’owabhebh’umunt’etsheni lephuka,uses’abamazolo,
Njomane
There has been something extraordinary about this June. Kugodole isimanga, ngagula kakhulu. Bekuhlola. Ngoba nanko uMaBhebhe kasekho. 2 days shy of her 89th birthday, umaBhebhe has passed away.
I have been loved in this life. I have been loved by maBhebhe — and her love has been as sure as the sun rises. Unwavering. I have loved in this lifetime, I love my grandmother. My grandmother has been such a great love.
When umama went to school, we lived with ugogo and the mantra of her home was shared on a small placard on the wall, “The little we have, we share as a family.” This mantra has followed us into adulthood — uGogo set the foundation for our love as siblings. No matter where I am in the world, I know for sure, I can call on any one of my siblings for help. I know that my family will always stand up for me and that we have unbreakable bond. I love them dearly.
UGogo wayesebenza kakhulu. Every season, we’d eat umumbu lamazambane from her field. She was so generous, always giving of her harvest. UGogo wayethunga ingcebethu, amacansi lama doyili. She would give us ingcebethu and was always seized with the task of making the next ngcebethu for the next grandchild. Every week she would make peanut butter for us — she had a special grinding stone and flat stone and she’d kneel ngemva kwendlu and get to work. She took her time, her own resources and labored out of love for us. Mtha & I would fight over ingoloyi ye porridge and eventually she started making two pots so we each could have our own.
UGogo was a June baby, as am I and as is Mely. It was our month. We took celebrating our birthdays very seriously. This month we were seized with mourning our Bae-bae — our hearts are broken and we are filled with so much gratitude for experiencing the love of maBaeps. We wanted more time, more love, more of our MaBhebheza. I have been thinking about how best to mourn uGogo because she deserves to rest at ease. Going forward, June will now be a month of celebration of a life well lived, a life lived in service of others, of me. A legacy of love and gentleness.
When I was born ugogo was 59. When I was ten she was 69 and that’s the Gogo I remember. She had a few wigs and would sometimes dye inwele zakhe ezimhlophe. She’d take me to school, pick me up and on our way back home, she’d let me play in the sprinklers ePark and then take me to the library. My favorite thing about uGogo is that she indulged me and was so soft. My mum’s favorite line when she’s upset with something I’ve done is “Angiso Gogo wakho,” because uGogo wami would indulge me and let me get away with a lot. Even when she was reprimanding us, she was so gentle. Each time I’d do something that impressed her she would exclaim, “Ngizakuthengela iframatshina, ngizakuthengela isiwiji esingapheliyo!” And many times she bought me those large colorful lollipops 🍭🍭. Even when we went to live with our parents, every weekend, I would be back koGogo because of just how much love she had for us. Her home was a place of peace and joy.
I was so touched emfeni kaGogo by how her community mobilized to help us lay her to rest. Brethren In Christ Church Nketa came in their numbers. Every Sunday, uGogo would go to church and take us along. Waye elesihlabelelo sake seBrethren and would lead us in song everyday. I will treasure those sing alongs in the living room. We would sing Mangibe NjengoJesu and Sesizelapha Thixo Omkhulu often. Khumalo Umfundisi wakhe we-Word, as she called him, gave the sermon. Omama akade ekhonza labo eWord ekhaya spent the whole night celebrating her in song and stories. Omakhelwane baka Gogo ekhaya bagamule inkuni kwesabeka — asizange sigodole sisekhaya. Umuzi kaGogo ulapho okule golide elinengi kakhulu. Kulama artisinal miners amanengi in that area. UGogo would invite them for tea always and treated them with so much love and care. Bathi babe ngadluli emzini kamaBhebhe engabanxusanga ukuthi bezokudla. They dug her grave eceleni kwesibaya. What a testimony. Her neighbors joined in our loss and together with her children, abazukulu lesizukulwane gave her the best send off. What a woman!
UGogo was named Ntombiyosizi because when she was born, a family member passed away. Her life was everything but usizi. If I were to name her, I would name her Nothando, Ntomb’enhle. UGogo had such a pure heart — so forgiving, so loving, so giving, just wonderful. We used every term of affection with Gogo because she embodied love. We called her MaBhebheza, maBae-bae, Baby, Babes and much more. She also gave us time, to shower her with love. And shower her we did. I am so grateful that I did not wait for a big gesture of love but in the little I had, I shared with maBhebhe. And she would be so grateful. “Alike lingibongise, wuuu uMaMoyo bakithi.” I will miss my Bae-bae. What a spirit!
How lucky am I, how blessed am I, how fortunate am I to have been loved so fiercely by MaBhebheza! Ngiyabonga Bhebhe, for everything.
Phumula ntomb’endala
Ntomb’enhle, Nothando
MaBhebhe, maNzinda.
Ngiyabonga!
